Hey moms, you know when I was expecting my sons I fell in love with them the very second I knew. Ya I know everyone says that, It's true though right, I mean it makes no difference if you carried your children or if you got the call you are no longer on that wait list your baby is here, its the same, you haven't met them yet and you love them more than life itself.
Did any of you worry, how would you love the same with number 2 or number 3? I sure did. I thought in my head how in the world do I have enough love for two, I love this first one so much how could I ever the another the same. For me I almost felt guilty, or not worthy of the next babe, thinking I would not be able to love them enough....turns out I had no issues, then when the 3rd came along I wasn't worried at all, I knew how easy it was for my love to grow....however, it wasn't so easy for the first kido who became a big sibling...being a toddler; its hard, because now they are 2nd in line, well that's what they think anyway...that brings me to this weeks blog, how becoming a big sibling is so hard at times, how can we as moms help them out.
Well for me, thankfully I had my own mom, I was also blessed with siblings that loved my kids, being the oldest, my sons had Aunts and an Uncle that were still at home but loved to play with them. It allowed me to have some one on one time with my oldest child. Vance, my oldest, didn't really care about going to do things like the movies or a park I mean he would go but mostly he just wanted to play outside in the sand box or build things but I tried to make one day a week all about him, it help but wasn't always enough. Kids/toddlers, don't really understand, I mean when they were born they had a fast track to becoming your new CEO; ruler of the home, true right, You did your own thing until you become a mom, once that happened you had to check with the boss before making any type of plans. When you are the CEO of life for a good 3 years you kinda get used to it, and most really like it, I mean who wouldn't. Then all the sudden they are asked without their ok, to step down from that roll and now they are vice-CEO and you'll need to wait your turn at times, I mean its life changing for a toddler right lol. For Vance, a daily dose of returning that power was all he needed. We, he and I only, no little brother tagging along, would spend 1 hour before bed doing what he loved, then I encouraged his good behavior with "big brother" rewards like helping to make dinner or getting to choose dinner, maybe he gets to feed the dog or help take out the trash, all chores he would be asked to do someday that he won't WANT to do, also I reminded him his little brother doesn't get to do these things. It didn't take long for my upset toddler to find that being the oldest wasn't so bad...
Another thing I tried to remind him and looking at them today I think it worked, was how much his little brother loved and looked up to him. Showing him to be a good boy was a role that only Vance could be given, that was part of the honor of being the oldest. I was the oldest and I had to do the same with my younger siblings. One thing I have found with being a mom and working with children for the last 22 years, they get it, they get it better than most adults, they just need it to be explained on their level, just tiny humans....that's all
Good luck mamas being a mom and sharing your love isn't easy at first but it is so rewarding!
Have a great week everyone!